Business Sense (Or, Things I Learned from Watching Shark Tank)

BFF M introduced me to a show called Shark Tank last year. It's a reality show where people come in and pitch their business idea to a panel of successful entrepreneurs (like FUBU's Daymond John and, in later seasons, Mark Cuban)--the "sharks." After asking their questions and determining the worth of the business, the entreps may or may not offer to invest.

I honestly don't have dreams of owning a business empire, just one that gives me an extra source of income or, if I'm lucky (and smart), allows me to be financially independent. I'm way behind on the Shark Tank episodes, but the ones I have seen have taught me a few things about business. 

1. Know your worth. Some people come in asking for an unrealistic amount and miss out on an opportunity because they base their valuation on potential (a number that is yet to be proven) or need (how much is necessary to start something), and not on the actual worth of a business. 
2. You need something proprietary. Best if you own the rights to a great idea/start-up business already. Otherwise, you leave yourself vulnerable to copycats and, consequently, lower the value of your business.
3. Best if you have something that can sell any time, anywhere, as opposed to something that is seasonal (e.g., a great Christmas gift) or regional.
4. Take criticism gracefully. Listen to what the pros have to say--it may hurt, but you can always learn something. If you were to pitch something to these sharks and you bomb, take what they said to heart. They're all loaded for a reason!
5.  Know your stuff. It's tough watching people who go in there unprepared. You can tell that they're going to get an F on this oral exam. If you're going to start a business, do your research--numbers, cost projections, competition, market interest, and all that jazz.
6. A "no" can still be a "maybe." There's something to be said about perseverance.
7. Go after your dreams--but not at the price of your family's security.

Kiss #11: And Then There Were Three

 Photo by Dairy Darilag

How do I even begin to write about childbirth, motherhood, and how much of a crazy life-changing experience it all is?

It's been 16 days, and this baby is making me think things and do things that I never thought I would do. He gets me out of bed at three in the morning without complaint. He's kept me at home for daaays at a time (unheard of in my past life), and the rare times that I do step out for things like doctor's visits, he's pretty much attached to me. He's made me seriously consider being a stay-at-home mom--I get weepy just thinking about going back to work and leaving him. Even now, just leaving him downstairs with the nanny as he naps, I keep wondering if he's doing OK.

My water broke at 2:30 a.m. on the 30th of December. For those unfamiliar with the process of childbirth: Less than 15% of women experience their water breaking--it's not as common as all those Hollywood films make it out to be. So imagine my surprise when I woke up to the feeling of having sat on a water balloon! This wasn't supposed to happen. I was still a long way off. In fact, I was scheduled to be induced five days later!

"Panic" doesn't even come close to describing what I was feeling at that time. H and I threw some last-minute things into our bags and headed to the hospital. After I was admitted, I spent a few hours going from 1 cm to 2 to 3. And that's when I realized that I have an incredibly low tolerance for pain. At 3 cm, I was in tears! It was mostly because of the oxytocin used to hurry things along--when they stopped using it, the pain was quite manageable. The prob was, if they didn't use it, we wouldn't get anywhere.

And then alarm bells: Whenever I would have a contraction, little monster's heart rate would go down.:( My (absolutely wonderful) OB was concerned that it was cord coil, and eventually made the decision to open me up. I know a lot of women dream of a normal delivery, and I was aiming for that, but I had no qualms about having a C-section. You can have the most amazing birth plan, but nothing is ever set in stone.

I also know a lot of women welcome the epidural, but not me. I have a fear of paralysis, of feeling trapped (being wrapped in seaweed at a spa is enough to make me anxious), and I didn't like being strapped down and losing all feeling from the chest down. I kept trying to take deep breaths, but it felt like I couldn't. It felt like I was drowning. Thankfully, my OB was incredibly reassuring. I probably would have had a full-on anxiety attack if it weren't for her.

I kept asking them to put me to sleep. I kept asking for my husband (he wasn't allowed inside since it was a C-section). I kept asking how much longer it would take, and they would humor me by answering, "Fifteen minutes," like those trainers who trick you into thinking that you just have to do 10 more crunches. I must have heard "fifteen minutes" three different times. But I held on to that. My OB told me, "The minute you hear him cry, you'll forget everything."

And I did.

I'm getting teary eyed just remembering that moment. 

The first thing I heard my doctor say was, "He has black hair!" And then that glorious bellow from those powerful lungs of his. And then I could breathe. I could even smile.

He didn't cry like a newborn. He didn't even look like a newborn. (Look at those hands!) Doc said it was a good thing we decided to go for a C-section because that kid probably wasn't going to fit through my pelvis anyway. (Thank goodness we didn't wait til 10 cm to find that out.) My husband was finally allowed inside, and seeing our baby in his arms...and then feeling the little one on my chest...I have a hard time finding the words to describe it. It was peace and relief and warmth, and later on (when the morphine wore off!), love that was just shockingly intense. And an even deeper love for my husband, something I didn't think possible.

Part of me wants to fast forward to the day when he won't be as fragile, when we won't have to worry about his neck or SIDS or all those other paranoia-inducing newborn issues. But part of me also wants to freeze time, because I know it's going by so fast.

I think I'll go watch my son sleep.

Quick Update

Still no time to do a lengthy post. For now, I just want to share the song my husband sings to our son. I get teary eyed when I see my two guys sitting together, H crooning softly to A.

 

 

I'm enjoying where we are now (most days), but part of me wants to fast forward to the day I can hear A say, "I love you too."

There have been good days (A so behaved, not even a peep as I change his nappy) and bad days (eight--yes, eight--hours of nearly nonstop crying), and on bad days H sometimes has to deal with his two babies crying. Still, I am very grateful for our Grumpy Bear--and for my husband who's been a stellar dad and a true partner.

Rarr!

Guess whose water broke a couple of hours after that last post? And this not-so-little monster arrived!

More in a future post. I'm tired, sleepless, and still recovering from a C-section. But I am also absolutely, irrevocably, head-over-heels in love.

Happy Birthday to Me

While it would have been cool to share a birthday with little monster, he had other plans.

Went to see the doc, and it seems this one is quite comfortable in there, thank you very much. I'm taking something that will help hurry things along plus I have to walk two hours a day (!), but if that doesn't work out, we'll have to induce labor.

After our checkup, H and I had a lovely birthday dinner at one of my new favorite restaurants. The past week, I had been so impatient, wanting to get this pregnancy over with already. But the reality of childbirth hit me again, and now I'm perfectly content just waiting--he'll come out when he's good and ready. So I just enjoyed my nice, quiet birthday, the last one that I had my husband all to myself.

I really, really love this man. Even the quietest, simplest birthday is made truly happy as long as I get to spend it with him.

Book Roundup

At the beginning of the year, I resolved to read four books a month. But, as many resolutions go, I wasn't able to keep up with my quota. Oh well. I still did manage to read over 30 books, so that's pretty respectable. (Or, at least, I thought so--until I met a dude a couple of weeks ago who reads 20 books a month.)

I used to do a monthly book report, but my reading list has a bunch of unremarkable free e-books. So allow me to just mention the ones that stood out:

The Hobbit by JRR Tolkien

I decided to reread this classic before the movie came out. Next up: a rereading of the Lord of the Rings trilogy.

A note on the movie: It was fun figuring out which one was Gloin--he looked almost exactly like Gimli! And as always, I didn't know whether to pity or fear Gollum.

What to Expect When You're Expecting by Arlene Eisenberg, Heidi E. Murkoff, and Sandee E. Hathaway, B.S.N.

Standard reading for expectant moms. I read it month by month throughout my pregnancy, since I thought I would forget everything if I did a one-time-big-time session. I could also relate more to the concerns each month--and thanked my lucky stars that I didn't get most of the symptoms listed. At some point, though, I wanted to poke my eyes out after reading "Best Odds Diet" too many times. Partly because it was just so repetitive, and partly because it made me feel guilty about not being a stellar mom and eating all the stuff I'm supposed to be eating (and not eating those I'm not supposed to...I did skip all the raw stuff, caffeine, and alcohol though). 

The Angel's Game by Carlos Luis Zafron

I picked up this book because I remembered Zafron's compelling prose. Like the author's first book The Shadow of the Wind, this one was beautifully written, opening with...

"A writer never forgets the first time he accepted a few coins or a word of praise in exchange for a story. He will never forget the sweet poison of vanity in his blood and the belief that, if he succeeds in not letting anyone discover his lack of talent, the dream of literature will provide him with a roof over his head, a hot meal at the end of the day, and what he covets most: his name printed on a miserable piece of paper that surely will outlive him. A writer is condemned to remember that moment because from then on he is doomed and his soul has a price."

...but it also had an ending I wasn't very happy with.

Eat, Memory: Great Writers at the Table: A Collection of Essays from the New York Times

Because I needed a break from fiction, and I do like me some food lit.

Mrs. Queen Takes the Train by William Kuhn

It's fiction based on a real person: The Queen of England. Light and fun and entertaining.

Snobs and Past Imperfect by Julian Fellowes

Since I couldn't get my Downton Abbey fix, I decided to buy a two-in-one book by the series writer. I am absolutely amazed by his ability to dissect the nuances of the different English classes--I think it's one reason Downton is such a success. Which reminds me--must catch the Christmas special!

And my favorite book of the year...

The Book Thief by Mark Zusak

Photo from here

"Like most misery, it started with apparent happiness."

I was beginning to think that YA had lost its magic for me--this, after reading a few mediocre e-books. And then came The Book Thief. This is one of the most heart-wrenching books I have ever read. I don't know if it was the preggo hormones, but I cried buckets at the end of it. It reminded my why I still read YA.

So I guess that's it for my 2012 reading list. Brace yourselves for a bunch of parenting books in 2013! Har.

As Ready As We'll Ever Be

I was getting stressed out trying to figure out the nursery situation. There was so much stuff in the guest room that we needed to get rid of--the bed, the computer desk, the clutter that had accumulated over three years. And then I realized: We don't need a nursery just yet. Who needs the added stress? Besides, the little monster will be staying in our room anyway, at least for a few months.

So I just decluttered, had our trusty helper do a major cleanup (cleaning screens, laundering curtains), and then set up a space for monster in our bedroom. Our Pack n Play isn't coming til next month, so I borrowed a lovely bassinet from Frances, then I got a chest of drawers (a steal at less than P6,000! That's about $140) for all the baby clothes and receiving blankets and towels. Our hospital bags are all packed. And H got me a super comfy chair for nursing as a Christmas gift--we haven't set it up yet though. All I need now is a diaper caddy.

I never thought I would reach the stage when I would want this baby to come out already. I thought, the longer he stayed in there, the better. But yesterday, after struggling to strap on my sandals and feeling this little one constantly (and painfully) pushing against my ribs, I decided I was ready. So, little monster, any time you're ready. Mommy and Daddy are waiting.